Livin' today...

Long time ppl…this term was supposed to be less grilling as compared to d first one… (coz we’re already used to d deadlines n stuff)…now, on with the internship blues with interviews round the corner for next summers. Literally no time to reminisce or work on the lines of the ‘Non Blondes song’ (here)

So I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
What's goin' on
And I say hey....
And I say hey what's goin' on !

Still trying to delve into where my interests lie….. seems like am falling into an abyss, not sure wht the end has in store for me. But whteva d end might be, d modus operandi is: Live today as if there’s no 2moro. Tht in no way implies just enjoy, but work towards my self-fulfillment such that at the end of d day, when I look back (If I do…), there sholudn’t b a moment spent on an event I regret upon later. Simply put (less the jargon…) If you study, study hard…play, play hard…chat, talk your heart out….sleep, have a sound sleep (love this part:) ) n words to tht effect…

Ciao ppl

Ciao life

Intangible happiness…

There is an odd sense of belonging in dis cyberspace. Few months back, I was a neophyte in this arena, and now I have an identity of my own. I googled “Rajat Mishra” d other day and right on d first page there were two entries of mine :) ... It gave an intangible sense of beatitude and contentment. Then I googled another keyword “rajat_nda” (my pseudo name everywhere) and there were 10 full pages dedicated to me, mainly on www.pagalguy.com (my mentor)…

I think there are two kinds of ‘small things’ in life:
1. Small things in life…,hardly matter !!
2. Small things in life…, that matter !!

As of now, this comes in the second category...Maybe three years from now it would fall back to the first...But the point is: This supposedly ‘small thing’ made me happy!! Yesterday one of my (newly-made) friends working in Google told me to google “Rajat Mishra” or “Rajat’s life”…
Lo and behold!!
There my blog was... “sponsored by google”...the very first link...My very own ‘30 secs of fame’ (actually 24hrs!!)

Life is iffy, agreed and we may not write our own destiny, but materializing it is in our own hands. That being the case, and the kind of pressure all of us work in, if a small incident gets that innocent unconscious smile on our face…nothing like it !!

Ciao life!!

Confounding thoughts...galore

This transition phase…gap between ISB n joining IIM’A is a tad difficult to handle. I thought I had already “Forgotten and Forgiven”, but it seems it isn’t so. ISB had made sure tht I didn’t get much time 2 think about her. But now I have a plethora of that, at least till 25th. I have definitely not forgotten the infidelity part.

Then the mind wanders to the land of “What if...”, We could have been so happy together, celebrating my success…planning for the marriage....It was supposed to be just like a run of the mill love story- “problems initially…villain comes in…love takes stand, problems taken care of…get married…The end”

Then the wonky heart says, never mind….talk to her, at least maintain the friendship…But the mind vetoes the statement…
Friendship---> Love, Okay!!
Love---> Friendship, NO, Never!!
I had said earlier, “Better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved ever”, but I have my reservations now. I wonder if the feeling of ‘treachery’ from someone you were in love with was worth, the feeling of ‘being loved’ by the same person.
{I think it's okay to crib...once in a while!!}
Relating to the characters from “F.R.I.E.N.D.S."... I was like ‘Ross’, trying to make his relationships work anyhow (wudn’t have got divorced thrice for tht though!!),
But now I want to be like ‘Joey’, emotionally non-attached…totally… But of course this is not reel-life. Maybe it was better to have..., Maybe not!!

Hoping never to come back to this issue again...Going to make some use of this second life now…gonna work my fingers to the bone 4 the next two years at Ahmedabad…but also, gonna enjoy every moment…Not just ‘Exist’, but ‘Live Life 2 the fullest’…

‘Life’, I’ll be living thou…